Randumb Thoughts

Updates when the spirit moves me...

Personal Commentary about current events and issues brought to you by
William C. Walker of WILW Radio.


March 31, 2009

April 2009 Edition...

Kansas City Area Women Are Nutcases...

I’ve devoted a lot of time and thought to the latest edition of the column. Most of the information I am about to impart is about recent personal experiences and then simply reading and watching the news about the issues that exist in relationships between men and women and the resulting conflicts that often times arise due to incongruent personality traits or characteristics of men and women in personal relationships when they interact with one another.

I am mostly going to talk about the state of affairs between men and women in the Kansas City area because I’ve lived here for several years now. But I believe at least some of what I am going to write will be relevant to men and women all over the country and of course, very relevant to the people of western Missouri and eastern Kansas.

I’ve come to the conclusion that a significant number of the females in the Kansas City region are complete jerks. Especially those that are over the age of thirty. They are shallow, ignorant, obnoxious, over bearing and aggressive and play stupid games. I can see why there are so many relationships between men and women in the Kansas City area that wind up in having one party commit a violent act against the other resulting in a trip to a court of law.

I’m a native of New England and in New England many of us forge friendships and ultimately relationships with members of the opposite sex for more than the most obvious reason. Probably the single most important aspect that will ultimately determine whether or not a man and woman from New England are compatible in a relationship is whether or not they truly like spending time with one another and also whether or not they share some common hobbies and interests. Also important in determining the potential compatibility of the parties involved is whether or not they will have personalities that will complement one another. In other words, ultimately, hormones or sexual attraction will not be the single most important reason for two people to get together and stay together for the long term. It might be the initial reason for meeting but ultimately for the relationship to last, something else must be there to fall back on.

It is painfully obvious that men and women get together for ALL of the WRONG reasons these days. And this is especially evident in my current home in metropolitan Kansas City. It is very clear that the men and women in the Kansas City region choose a potential mate based solely upon physical attraction and little else. In other words they let emotions and their hormones rule logic and common sense when trying to seek out a suitable partner. I’ve noted this philosophy has led to some relationships that are at worst, truly horrible and at best, truly disappointing.

I’ve noted a tremendous number of combative relationships among couples here because they initially got together for the physical attraction and nothing else. Eventually the relationship started to fail because they had nothing else to fall back on to rekindle the spark or to simply keep it moving steadily forward. I am appalled at the sheer number of domestic violence cases that make the news here on a near nightly basis. Men and women are constantly beating, shooting and stabbing one another because they have entered into incompatible relationships with the wrong partner. I’ve actually had more than a couple of people in this region tell me that they like combative and argumentative relationships and that they actually enjoy arguing or fighting with their man or woman. This is bizarre behavior to say the least and a sign that many people simply don’t know how to develop a healthy relationship with a member of the opposite sex.

Another aspect that harms healthy relationships between the sexes is the twisting of traditional role playing. A few weeks ago while reading an article from Cosmopolitan Magazine on Yahoo about what a woman should expect from a guy in a relationship, I saw the the following demand: “A man must be willing to change his lifestyle and in essence, his personality in order to keep the woman happy”. This issue alone is enough to raise an alarm in any healthy man or woman because it is stating that in order to make a relationship work, the man must transform himself into something other than himself. Talk about the perfect ingredient for building a bad or shallow relationship upon a series of lies! I always thought the idea was to find a man or woman that complements your own personality, lifestyle and character and not one that is going to have traits that will clash with your own. Again, this attitude is a perfect ingredient for creating hostility in a relationship that could lead to violence with the couple.

I am acquainted with a guy here in the Kansas City area whom I’ve known since we were both in the same First Grade class in our home state of Connecticut. When he lived in Connecticut and later Rhode Island, he had only one girl friend from around our Sophomore year in High School onward for about ten years. Then, after they broke up he moved to the Kansas City area in 1993 and started to date again. Since that time he’s had one girl after another and no steady relationships. Some of these flings last only a weekend or perhaps a couple of weeks while others might last for a few months at best. One or two of these flings have rekindled after an initial breakup of a couple of months but it is apparent that aside from having one woman live with him for about 8 months before things soured, he cannot find a steady girl friend here and instead has to settle for one fling after another. Often times he has to dump them because after they date for a while these women start demanding that he make changes in his lifestyle. Now, what’s wrong with this picture?

An AP story in the Louisville Courier-Journal is reporting that at least 40% of all children born in this country are now born out of wedlock. I could write an entire column on the pitfalls of this problem but I’ll spare you the suffering. Kansas City certainly has its share of single, unwed mothers with at least one baby in tow. This only serves to lead to the continued destruction of the family unit. Suffice it to say, these stupid girls get involved with a guy that is not their type, wind up pregnant and he splits.

By now you must be asking yourself, what about Mr. Walker? What’s the deal with him? Early on in my first stay here (1995), my sixth sense told me it was a mistake to get too involved with members of the opposite sex in this part of the country. That has not been the case in ANY other region that I’ve lived and especially New England. But in the Kansas City area I saw some serious flaws in the character and personality traits of so many people including women, I thought it best to avoid getting too involved. That decision turned out to be right on and I have been able to avoid dating some truly awful women in this area. To be honest I’ve never either dated or been involved with a woman outside of New England though I did live with one nutcase in Minneapolis for two months in 1990. She was a little too aggressive and over bearing for my taste. Anyway, I come from an upper middle class and wealthy background and I and my family are hardly what you’d consider at the bottom of the food chain. I’ve only dated women either from wealthy families or that live in wealthy communities in New England and New York. I’ve never felt too inclined to date women in any of the other states where I’ve lived because I’ve never really met someone that I though was right for me. And here in Kansas City? The cultural differences between myself and the local people is alarming to say the least and the conflicts I’ve had over the years with these creeps has me hesitating to ask them out.

I’ve noted that a lot of the women in the Kansas City area, or at least those that seem to be attracted to me are either already married or very aggressive and over bearing. I’ve been sexually harassed more than once here. Some women almost seem manly at times. I’ve never experienced this problem to this degree in any of the other nine states that I’ve lived. Yes, an occasional issue or isolated problem here and there does arise but nothing like the constant problems that I’ve had here.

Here are just a few examples of issues I’ve had with women here in Kansas City over the years that have reaffirmed my belief that it has been a smart idea to avoid getting involved.

1) Issue with a Married woman. I took a job at local Overland Park, KS office in 1997 after my cousin in Philadelphia hooked me up here. Shortly after I started to work in this office, a married woman about my age started to take a liking to me and wanted to play around. I rebuffed her advances and eventually she became enraged and threw a hissy fit. It wound up costing her a private meeting with the office manager and after that occurred I didn’t have any more problems with her.

2) Issue with a Married woman. Recently, a younger gal in her mid 20’s started to work in the produce department of a local grocery store where I shop regularly. The first time I ran into her she approached me and said “hello” and started up a conversation. I was polite and spoke briefly and continued with my shopping. The next week the same thing happened and this time she told me that she was interested in me. Based upon the numerous negative past experiences I’ve had with women here I just ignored the comment and continued shopping. The next time in the store she approached me again and started up another conversation and I said to myself “alright, she seems genuinely interested so what the hell, I’ll talk to her to see what she’s about”. Well, I quickly learned that she had to be playing games because she told me that she was married. Right after I heard this I put the conversation to an end and bid her good day. Since that time she’s again told me that she wants to play around and that she likes me but I have not been too inclined to comment other than to say “good morning, hows the weather etc.” Either this girl is a pathological liar or she’s actually married, unhappy and might want to fool around. One thing is certain I will not get involved with a married woman.

3) Some beast that looks like a guy that works in a local office where I have a daily stop was sexually harassing me for the better part of two years. Again the offending party was my own age as most seem to be. This “thing” somehow got the mistaken idea that I was easy for the pickins or its type. I’m not. This pushy, over bearing creature was groping and grabbing and poking and prodding me like a melon in the local produce department at a grocery store. One of its fellow employees even told me that it wanted a weekend with me. I ignored the comment. This seemed to egg it on because a few weeks later this thing told me that if I didn’t play ball my job was going to be in jeopardy. Fortunately this thing is not in a position of authority and could do little to have me fired. In addition, I swear I was being stalked because this thing would show up at satellite offices after hours at about the same time that I did during my daily rounds. This unprofessional conduct lasted for over a year until I finally threatened to get a spy camera and catch it in the act. Finally, over the course of the last year, the problem has more or less ended and now it behaves civilly in my presence. I don’t like to talk to this thing after being humiliated at the hands of this creep and I keep contact and conversation to a bear minimum as a result.

4) Kansas City is the ONLY place that I’ve lived where I’ve had women tell me they don’t want to date me when I am not asking them out. It happens with women of all ages and runs across various social classes and economic backgrounds. Somehow I don’t have the heart to tell these arrogant little cusses that I am not really interested in them anyway. And the only reason I am talking to them is because I believe in being civil and having manners when I interact with someone either through work or when talking to a clerk at a store where I am shopping.

5) The best story to illustrate the insanity of a woman in Point # 4 follows. I have a daily stop at a local pharmacy in Overland Park, KS. Last Spring, a new girl in her 20’s started to work there and the first time I ran into her and asked her for her signature I said “hello, how are you? Can I get your signature right here?” Her response was “I don’t want to go out with you. BYE” I was taken aback because the only thing that I wanted was a signature. She pulled the same exact stunt a few days later and it was at that time I decided that she was a mental case and someone not worth talking to. Well, since that time she’s suddenly changed her tune and has initiated a conversation with me from time to time. I think she’s married but like the girl in the Produce Dept. she’s playing games because on a couple of occasions she’s said that she wants to go out with me. And then there are other times when she says that she does not want to talk to me but then the following day she’ll say “hello, how are you?” I’ve come to the realization that the best way to deal with this nut job is to be cordial but steer clear of any talk that could be remotely construed as personal in nature or hinting that I am looking for a date. So far, that has at least put a stop to the “I don’t want to go out with you rubbish”. But now I have noted that she seems to resent the fact that I don’t really want to talk to her at any great length and she seems to be finding a reason to come to the door and answer it when I arrive. Now that does seem like typical behavior for a woman that is truly full of herself. And there are plenty more like this one that have the same distasteful personality flaws.

Over the years in Kansas City the worst offenders I’ve experienced by far have been women over the age of 35 and recently women around my own age or older. Most likely the few women that are over the age of 35 and are reasonably normal are already married. I have noted that some of the gals under the age of 30 seem to be better grounded and actually possess their wits. Sadly though they are the exception rather than the rule.

Due to the horrible shape of our economy, I am now resigned to the fact that I will probably have to stay in the Kansas City area for several years. I guess that means at some point I will probably want to date again but sadly, that means trying to find a woman in the Kansas City area that is not a nutcase. If that happens, it will be someone considerably younger than myself because I am finished with women over the age of 40 and will cast a jaundiced eye at any woman over the age of 31 or 32. Based upon my past experiences I am not overly optimistic that I can find someone that suitable. We’ll see what happens...